Jewish Community Starting to Consider Needs of Neglected Singles Population

Long neglected and underserved, Jewish singles are slowly beginning to garner the attention of the organized Jewish community.

There are well over half-a-million single Jews in the United States ages 18 to 40, according to the 1990 National Jewish Population Study.

As the organized Jewish world continues its focus on promoting continuity, it has begun to realize that the decisions these singles make about marriage partners and involvement in the Jewish community will, in large measure, shape the future of American Jewish life.

Yet singles say that the only time they hear from the organized Jewish community is when they are being solicited for a contribution, and that it is clear that their needs are not considered much of a priority.

But Jewish communal organizations are now beginning to consider how to better service this population.

“With our renewed commitment to college youth, and to an ongoing connection with young adults, it’s in the interests of the community to devote more effort to relating to this population,” said Joan Strauss, associate director for community planning at the Council of Jewish Federations.

“It’s our hope that (the community) will. We see some development of programs and hope there will be more,” she said. One session at next week’s CJF General Assembly will look at the issue of addressing young adults.

And two new reports take a look at the Jewish communal services available to singles and make recommendations for improving what some concede is a dismal lack of attention to this population.

In cities like New York and San Francisco, there is a wealth of Jewish activity available, much of it not specifically targeting singles. But in the vast stretch of America that lies in between, especially in small and mid-sized cities, there are few places for unmarried Jews to meet.

“We haven’t yet as a community put a lot of energy into what we’re doing with the young singles population,” said one senior federation official, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

It is a sizable population – estimated to number 563,000 – with idiosyncratic and sometimes contradictory needs, which makes it difficult to serve.

“In general the federations have had difficulty seeing this group – they’re not big givers for the most part and they’re not clients,” said the senior federation executive.

In the increasingly long span between the college campus and married life, Jewish singles have been found in one study to be somewhat quixotic in their expectations.

They want more opportunities to meet other singles, for instance, but are wary of activities labeled as “singles events.”

The few communities that have devoted serious attention and money to addressing the needs of singles have found that the most successful way to frame the effort is to market the activities to all young Jewish adults, married or unmarried.

The North American Commission on Jewish Identity and Continuity, convened by CJF at last year’s General Assembly, has a working group looking at the task of “engaging diverse populations,” including singles.

“It’s clearly an area beginning to attract greater attention in the mainstream, but at this point the commission doesn’t have much to contribute,” said Jonathan Woocher, commission staff coordinator.

One of the new reports was prepared by CJF, under Strauss’ direction. Called “Selected Services to Jewish Singles,” it is an overview of how various federations serve the population.

Existing efforts tend to be modest, according to the CJF report. They typically include a federation funding a part-time coordinator of community singles events which are run by other agencies, or a young leadership section which holds fund-raising events.

Singles who were interviewed for the report listed as obstacles to involvement high synagogue and Jewish community center fees, a lack of programs, insufficient federation leadership opportunities and a generally negative attitude of the mainstream Jewish community towards singles.

Denver’s federation, cited as an example, has a singles coordinating group called L’Chaim. Its “limitations are its lack of greater support from the Jewish community, which often does not see the need to service this group as a priority,” according to the CJF report.

The other new report, “Promoting Jewish Intramarriage Through Increased Social Interaction,” is an in-depth look at the situation in Cleveland, home to the Immerman family foundation, which commissioned the research.

The survey was conducted as a series of interviews and focus groups by the New York City-based Jewish Community Centers Association Research Center.

Cleveland demographer Ann Schorr, a consultant to the project, found that the city has about 6,600 Jewish young single people ages 20 to 40, half of whom are under 30, and that they have high levels of Jewish identification.

Yet in interviews, Cleveland’s young Jewish singles indicated a significant willingness to date and marry non-Jews.

More than half of Cleveland’s Jewish singles, 55 percent, will date non-Jews, although they prefer to date Jews, the survey found.

Nearly half of Jewish singles, 47 percent, said they were willing to marry a non-Jew, though they prefer a Jewish spouse. More than a third, 35 percent, said they will marry only a Jew. Seventeen percent said they did not care about the religion of the person they marry.

The research revealed a number of paradoxes the report terms “vicious circles”: Cleveland’s Jewish singles think highly of the city’s organized Jewish structures but are very critical of them for ignoring their unique needs and not involving them in the decision-making processes. They want more opportunities to meet people but are leery of programs obviously designed to help them meet people. They prefer to meet and marry other Jews but do not want to work too hard at it. They express pride in their Jewishness but are anxious about appearing “too Jewish” or “religious.” They want sophisticated programs and sources of information but are very sensitive to price.

The solution, according to Edward Kagen, co-author of the report and director of the JCCA’s research center, is for Jewish organizations to get out of the “singles business” and target programs to all young adults.

The research of the JCCA and others has revealed additional truths which thread their way through all efforts to reach young adults, especially singles.

Unmarried Jews are more enthusiastic about events that tie into their interests – like skiing, theater, sailing and investing – than any specially designed for singles.

The events should be positioned to overcome any skepticism that they are only a front to bring lonely singles together, according to the Immerman report.

Efforts to reach young adults through a community’s agencies and synagogues should be coordinated by an independent entity whose sole business is servicing this population, according to the Immerman report.

Other recommendations include developing programs with the central theme of professional networking and career development and programs to allow easy access and minimal commitment.

The report also suggests putting together a “package membership” which would, for one fee and a finite length of time, allow a single Jew to belong to one or more synagogues, the Jewish community center and other Jewish community groups.

Montreal is one city that has successfully recast its efforts to attract and retain young Jewish adults.

ProMontreal, as the effort is named, was begun in 1991 with a $1 million commitment by the Montreal federation for a three- or four-year launch of initiatives to keep young Jewish Montrealers in the city.

That community has faced particular pressure to keep its young people because the separatist movement in Quebec has led many Jews to leave for Toronto and other cities.

ProMontreal programs include a free, professional placement agency for young graduates. In the past year it has placed over 550 graduates in jobs.

ProMontreal also has a social interaction committee, a consortium of 14 young adult leadership groups which have sponsored popular social events attracting as many as 1,700 Jews, mostly singles, ages 18 to 34.

A trendy monthly magazine, in Montreal, targets young Jewish adults and includes a calendar of events, who is back in town, what jobs are available and how readers can play a part in the community.

The effort has been extremely successful, said Penni Kolb, director of community development for the Montreal federation. “Young people are not only staying, but many that left are returning,” she said.