The Bulletin’s Day Book

The Jewish Daily Bulletin this week-end will celebrate its tenth anniversary. For the past few weeks several stenographers have kept busy opening letters of congratulation from such notables as President Roosevelt, Governor Lehman and a host of other leaders in political, economic and social fields.

These congratulatory letters range from brief and formal notes to lengthy and warmly laudatory essays. Some are couched in the stiff language of the form letter far-sighted men of affairs have prepared for just such occasions. Others are written in an effulgent manner that can leave no doubt as to the author’s sincerity. All of them, of course, have nothing but praise of the newspaper’s past and express the hope, fervently or formally as the case may be, that it will continue in the future to render the public the same brand of excellent service rendered in the past.

Now all those letters are going to make mighty interesting reading. But the Day Book finds that there’s something lacking. They’re not representative enough of the reactions felt, we are certain, by an important section of the Bulletin’s readers. We have reference to these readers of ours who give their first allegiance to Hitler. Yesterday, the Day Book revealed that among the most ardent of this paper’s readers are the Yorkville Nazis and, indeed, Nazi leaders and sympathizers throughout the world.

How is it, your Day Booker asked himself, that none of these eminent persons are included in the senders of congratulatory missives?

Is it possible that they do not know that the Bulletin is about to have a tenth anniversary?

Deciding that this was the case, the Day Booker, avid in his desire to give his public something entirely different, swung into action and let the fact of the forthcoming anniversary trickle out where our reader Nazis would be sure to hear about it. The following letters, privately received by the Day Book, are the result of that trickle:

FROM GEORGE SYLVESTER VIERECK, NAZI PROPAGANDIST:

“Is it possible that the Jewish Daily Bulletin is ten years old already? Why it seems like only yesterday that I dandled the first copy on my knee and then, with a heart full of love tossed it into the flames. After carefully combing the columns for some mention of my humble name, every day for the past ten years I have made it a practice to toss each issue affectionately into the fire. I call it the Jewish Daily Bulletin fire. I have been saving the ashes of the bulletins all these years, and when I get enough ashes I shall put them in an urn and then burn them all over again. Heil, Hitler! And long may the Jewish Daily Bulletin furnish fuel for my fire.”

FROM SIR OSWALD MOSLEY, BRITISH BLACKSHIRT LEADER:

“I am amazed, gor glimey if I’m not! To think that the Bulletin is ten years old! What would international bankers, international Jews and international what-nots do without your jolly old pyper? Please continue to publish it regularly, eh, old chappies? It keeps me warm these cold nights, hating its every international word. God Save the King and a heil and a hey-nonny-nonny for Hitler.”

FROM CONGRESSMAN MCFADDEN:

(On second thought, this letter had better not be published. After all, the Jewish Daily Bulletin is a family paper and not the Congressional Record).

From George W. Christians, of Chattanooga, Tenn.: (Remember him? He’s the commander-in-chief of the American Fascists, the White Shirts).

“No! I won’t congratulate you on your tenth anniversary. Why should I? I haven’t seen my name mentioned in your lying columns since Pat McGrady used his imagination freely in describing my innocent activities in behalf of a Jewless United States. I dare you to print this letter! P. S. If you do, I’ll send you a five-thousand-word letter telling the world just why the Jewish Daily Bulletin is a public servant deserving of nothing but the best.”)

FROM DR. ERNST F. S. HANFSTAENGL, BETTER KNOWN AS “PUTZY”:

“I find your excellent newspaper indispensable to me in my daily work and routine. Before sitting down at my piano to play for dear Adolf I spend ten minutes or so scanning your columns. That puts me in the proper mood to bang the keys with all the strength that’s in me. That’s what Adolf likes—that I should bang the keys very loudly so that he cannot hear the heils of his adoring throngs outside. Ach! what would I do without the Jewish Daily Bulletin to make me so mad? I wish to tell you also that it helps me in another very important way. All the names mentioned favorably in your columns I enter in my little notebook and we hunt up their relatives here and give them vacations in our beautiful concentration camps. Is that not nice?”

From Adolf (himself and not a talking picture) Hitler:

—H. W.