Vanishing Act

For my next trick:

I’m going vanish.

I’m going to disappear

from the pages of every

magazine and newspaper.

Watch closely,

as I fade away

before your very eyes

from every biography and documentary.

Blink, and you’ll miss it.

Not a trace of my existence

in any ad or commercial.

But wait! There’s more!

As part of my act

I can even go back in time

and erase myself from history.

It’s like I was never even there!

Isn’t it amazing?

This little trick of mine?

This vanishing act.

I’ve gotten so good at it over the years that

you think the talent comes naturally.

You think I’ve been doing this my whole life.

You think my mother taught me this trick,

and that her mother taught her.

But actually,

it was you

who taught me

to fear my own reflection.

I saw the way you

manipulated pictures

and altered tradition.

I wanted to be just like

those pixelated women,

those hidden women.

The women you called holy.

So I covered, and concealed,

and buried myself

until I began to erase my own name

and blur my own face.

Until I perfected this vanishing act.

They think it is just a trick of the light.

Some sleight of hand

and a few cheap mirrors.

They think this vanishing act is simple.

But they don’t see the parts of me that are lost

each time I perform for their amusement.

I listen from backstage

as the audience applauds my disappearance.

 Dasi Schneider is a writer and spoken word poet from NYC. Her writing focuses on the intersection between feminism and Jewish identity.

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