Thanksgivukkah isn’t happening for another couple of weeks, but already it has bestowed upon us many gifts, including a great recipe for roasted Brussels sprouts with pastrami and pickled red onion, a rapping turkey, and a “Colbert Report” bit so funny the host himself lost it.
There’s something else on our wish list for this holiday season, though — something only the network gods can deliver. We’re talking about the opportunity to watch our favorite TV characters engage in some ridiculous and hilarious holiday hijinks. That’s right, bring on the Thanksgivukkah episodes, TV-making people! We are ready.
Our best hope for some Latkey Day representation is probably on the “The New Girl,” “The Big Bang Theory” and, well, sadly… that’s really it.
Which is why our imaginations have run wild with dreams of what could have been if these two celebrations collided more than once every 70,000-odd years.
1. “Friends” We’re thinking it would have been called “The One with the Menurkey.”
2. “The Goldbergs” Come on, can’t they just fudge it and pretend Thanskgivukkah was an ’80s phenomenon? They’ve been pretty loose with period accuracy over there as it is…
3. “Seinfeld” How can one even begin to process a Festivus-Thansgivukkah mash-up? There are just far too many comedic possibilities for us to handle. This is clearly a job for the folks over at Modern Seinfeld.
4. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” Perhaps Larry might ask the owner of the Palestinian chicken restaurant to cater his holiday feast?
5. “The O.C.” A shining moment, surely, for known Chrismukkah enthusiast Seth Cohen.
6. “Will & Grace” A better merger than Thanskgiving and Hanukkah? The merger of the sitcom’s classic “Moveable Feast” episode and Thanksgivukkah.
7. “Arrested Development” A celebration during George Sr.’s rabbi phase would have been pretty great.
8. “Sex and the City” It’s all you, Charlotte York Goldenblatt! Unless, of course, the ladies would rather just skip the whole thing and do brunch. Or cocktails.
9. “The Nanny” Thanksgivukkah gets the Queens treatment.
10. “Entourage” Thanksgivukkah gets the Queens treatment, but this time at the Gold’s lair, where the boys come to celebrate. Vince hooks up with Ari’s barely-legal niece, Turtle lights a joint off the menorah, Drama recounts the time he auditioned for the role of a Maccabee, and Eric does nothing interesting.
JTA has documented Jewish history in real-time for over a century. Keep our journalism strong by joining us in supporting independent, award-winning reporting.
