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  • Birthday Haiku for Ben Savage (Boy Meets World)

    **** What sort of business does “Topanga” have with that nice Jewish child star? **** Happy Birthday Ben Savage, Cory Matthews of Boy Meets World.

  • Birthday haiku for Julie Kavner, voice of Marge Simpson

    **** yellow matriarch beneath a plume of blue hair with a jewish voice **** Happy Birthday Julie Kavner, voice of Marge Simpson.

  • Birthday haiku for Charlie Sheen

    **** Winning- state of mind Losing- state of employment godesses-lessness **** Happy Birthday, Charlie Sheen. Hard to believe you once had the granddaughter of a concentration camp survivor as part of your harem.

  • Birthday haiku for Lewis Black

    **** G*D**MN IMBECILES QUIT COUNTING AWAY THE DAYS TILL I F***ING DIE!!! **** Happy birthday to Lewis Black, the greatest living Jewish alarmist.

  • Birthday Haiku for Glee’s Lea Michele

    **** Lea Michele; a nose on any other face would be just as big **** Happy birthday to Glee actress Lea Michele — and her Jewish nose. Here’s hoping for a schnoz-themed mashup in Season 3.

  • Shalom Sesame for the dirty mind

    Today is the launch of the new Shalom Sesame Rosh Hashanah installment. It’s called “The Sticky Shofar.” “The Sticky Shofar.” Not to be a Moishe Oofnik, but am I the only one who thinks that the title and the cover… Oy, never mind. Looks like I have another thing to atone for this Yom Kippur….

  • Birthday haiku for Rosanna Arquette

    **** Maternal descent granddaughter of survivors half-jew and a half **** In Hollywood, you don’t get much more Jewish than a documentary named after Debra Winger (featuring Melanie Griffith and Whoopi Goldberg, et al). Happy Birthday Rosanna Arquette! Lookin’ good at 52.

  • Birthday haiku for Michael Kors

    *** The only two jobs that pay even if you’re wrong; weather and fashion *** Happy Birthday designer Michael Kors. I still don’t know fashion from borscht. But my pink polo shirt from when I was five is apparently cool again. (Or was that last season?)

  • Birthday haiku for Dustin Hoffman

    Dustin, my old friend You’re trying to seduce me at seventy-four   Add your haiku in the comments below for the man, the legend, the birthday boy Dustin Hoffman.