Turning Old, One Day At A Time

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At 8, I wanted to turn 10.
So I would be double digits.
At 10, I was desperate to have a bat mitzvah.
So I would have my own tallit and feel an automatic upgrade in maturity.
At 12, I wanted to turn 14.
So I could proudly announce that I am in high school.
At 14, I wanted my acne to vanish.
So my looks would be tolerable.
Today, I want time to stop.
I want to turn 8, all over again.
Sometimes, I genuinely miss the past – a time when I was clueless about life.
When I was, just for once, “good enough.”
When GPA didn’t matter.
When college was merely a word.
When I didn’t hide my emotions.
When shaving was not required.
When I didn’t have to stand up for myself.
When I didn’t think about running away.
When my biggest problem was not having any.

I am excited about college, love and heartbreak, success and failure.
I am excited about life.
However, I want to live in the present, and this is what I’ll do.

I am turning old, one day at a time.

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