Have you missed Paula Abdul on American Idol? Were Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez simply too coherent for you last year? Do you like having Top 40 acts selected on television and do you miss the musical stylings of Mariah Carey in the early 90s?
Then Simon Cowell has got a show for you.
Last night, the U.S. version of The X-Factor, which is already a huge hit in the UK and has produced milquetoast stars such as Leona Lewis, premiered with singers and judges Cowell, L.A. Reid, Nicole Scherzinger and our favorite loopy Jew, Paula Abdul.
This program, unlike American Idol, is searching for more than just the best vocalist of the bunch. The judges are looking for what the French call je ne sais quoi, which roughly translates to “the ability to make young girls and sexually confused boys scream with excitement.”
Don’t believe me? Look it up.