Israelis Storm Hollywood (Not In A Good Way)


Hollywood – Israeli tanks continue to surround the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences here in a confrontation that began on Oscar Night after the acclaimed film “Footnote” was the latest Israeli offering to be denied an award for Best Foreign Film.

“To make things worse, they gave it to the fakakhta Iranians,” said Israeli President Shimon Peres during an appearance on The View in which he reportedly wooed both Whoopi Goldberg and Elizabeth Hasselbeck, ignoring Barbara Walters.

“The state of Israel reserves its sovereign right to defend our Oscar-worthiness,” a government spokesman told Entertainment Tonight as helicopter gunships hovered overhead and a team of commandos entered the Academy in what was dubbed “Operation Red Carpet.”

At an emergency cabinet meeting, Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman, speaking in Russian, declared: “In the name of democracy, we will lay siege to anyone who seeks to delegitimize the sovereign state of Israeli films.”