1. He worked with Robin Williams aka has been in the presence of a god. Which I’m pretty sure makes him an angel.
2. He is teaming up with my girl Sarah Silverman, in (plot twist) a drama.
3. He was in the sexiest movie of all time as the brooding, lovelorn Knox Overstreet in “Dead Poets Society.” O Captain! My Captain! indeed.
4. He’s not afraid to hit girl muppets. Charles played Agent Barker in “Muppets from Space,” at one point becoming Miss Piggy’s captive. Lucky porker. (Also, subliminally I believe battling the lady bacon was Charles' way of expressing his suppressed desire to keep kosher and find a nice, Jewish girl to marry, I.e.- me).
5. He is a southpaw. Aka a lefty. Lefties are known to have an advantage in combat, (if you don’t believe me look up the Biblical story of God sending Ehud to free Israel from the oppressive rule of the Moabites … not to mention the Benjamites!) A man who can protect his kin is hot. A man who can take down an entire empire? Crush worthy.
6. He plays drums. A peg legged mongoose with a rotting pumpkin for a face could play drums and be appealing to the ladies. So in this case … it’s really not even fair.
7. He's got cajones. Charles performed stand up comedy when he was 10 years old … After heckling a comic onstage.