Jewish Week Announces ‘5 Under 5’ Winner

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Two-year-old Sarah Sue Suskowitz has been named the Grand Prize Winner of The Jewish Week’s latest project, “5 Under 5.”

She was praised for “sharing her pacifier and dirty diapers” with fellow tykes as well as launching a charity that collects funds for needy children around the world, taking care of infants each Shabbat at synagogue services and delivering food to the homeless four nights a week.

Asked about her daughter’s remarkable accomplishments, Tina “Tiger Mom” Suskowitz-Moskowitz, explained that “while we hope this will increase our precious child’s chances of acceptance into an Ivy League pre-school program, this was all her doing. She came to us with these projects herself.”

Sarah Sue said simply, “goo goo,” which her mom hastened to explain means “it’s my honor and responsibility” in Swahili, which Sarah Sue is studying on weekends.

Noting the success of its “36 Under 36” annual section, Jewish Week editors said “this one should take a lot less time, and we’re thrilled to have parents competing to highlight the accomplishments of their offspring.”

The other four honorees in the contest were cited for fostering efforts for world peace; launching Moishe Houses for single kindergarteners; growing organic, gluten-free bibs; speaking out against thumb-sucking amongst their peers; and keeping their tantrums confined to protests against sex-trafficking.

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