The Bulletin’s Day Book

The usually somber month of October has started off as though determined to belie its reputation. With the brisk autumn winds, the turning of the leaves and the sudden sprouting of topcoats, there has come a bit of unwonted brightness. Day book fans will appreciate that so long as news items of the following nature, culled from recent columns in the Bulletin, are circulating, God’s in his Heaven, as the poet said, and all’s right with the world.

A Detroit judge ups and gives a synagogue 100 “sidurim” (prayer-books). If the judge who made the gift happened to have been tagged Cohen or some other distinctly non-”Aryan” name, nobody would lift an eyebrow. But the judge bears the name of Henry S. Sweeney. When the story drifted into the office, the retort that sprang to the copy editor’s lips was, “Aw, tell it to Sweeney.” It sounded like an April fool gag. But here it was October. So, with a prayer that the Detroit correspondent wasn’t pulling the editor’s leg, the item was printed.

But, well-trained newshound that we are, we are not content to let the matter die there. Judge Sweeney, you are invited to tell the Day Book readers how you happened to make such a gift.

In another column of Monday’s Bulletin appeared a story that also had a non-Octoberish tang to it. This one would seem to belong in that season of the year when newspapers report the first robin, the first crocus and the birth of a two-headed, five-legged calf that crows like a rooster with one head and bleats like a lamb with the other.

The item was date lined Brussels. A distinguished gang of anti-Semites is holding what is termed by them a world anti-Semitic congress. Of course the Nazis were there. What would a world anti-Semitic congress be without the Nazis?

However, mirabile dictu, the Nazis weren’t there very long. Possibly to their chagrin and certainly to our surprise the Nazis were given the boot.

“Araus!” the bosses of the world anti-Semitic Congress are reported to have mildly bellowed at the delegates from Hitlerville and Streichermania.

We qualify the bellow with a “mildly” because the reason assigned for this strangest of ousters was that the world might interpret the meeting as a conclave of Hitlerite pan-German agents.

Now, in our humble opinion, the Nazi anti-Semites from across the Rhine have been double-crossed by those from the rest of the world. Originally, this unique parley of the great minds of anti-Semitism had been slated to be held in two divisions. Not the least important of these two divisions was the one scheduled, according to announcement of none other than “Fatso” Julius Streicher, for Fatso’s home bailiwick of Nuremberg or Streichermania as the town will doubtless some day be called.

On some snide pretext or other, the out-of-Germany anti-Semites lured the in-Germany comrades into abandoning the Streichermania plans and merging with the Brussels outfit. And now, for their beautiful spirit of self-denial in the interests of the cause, this is the thanks the Nazi anti-Semites get.

The Brussels gang expressed its fear that the world would think the convention one of Hitlerite pan-American agents. But did they think what impression the world would receive when the Nazi delegates were tossed out on their ears? No! the Day Book wrathfully declaims, they did not. They did not seem to realize that this monstrous action against their fraters from across the Rhine would bring ridicule, contumely and scorn upon their heads.

If Streicher is only half the man we think he is, he won’t take this insult lying down. The least he can do if he wants to retain his laurels as the champion anti-Semite of all time, is to stand up and snort his protest.

Perhaps Julius of the bald pate and corpulent waistline hasn’t thought of this angle. If he hasn’t, we present him with the idea gratis:

The world anti-Jewish congress at Brussels is a fake. It is all a wily plot of Samuel Untermyer and Samuel Dickstein and Barney Deutsch and Stevey Wise. The congress was really planned by the Jews. If proof of its complete Jewishness is needed, Herr Streicher need only point to the fact that his delegates were bounced. Its sole purpose was to lure the anti-Semites of Streichermania from their lair and then subject them to the ribald jests and anathema of the Jewish-ruled world.

And to show the rest of the world that none but Streicher is the kingpin of anti-Semites, we suggest that he launch a war against all anti-Semites in the world except the true-blue—or true-brown rather—Nazi variety.

The item that for us has given October the brightest hue of all so far, however, is the one from the London Zoo. It told of a chimpanzee named Jim which had turned Hitlerite and gave the Nazi salute whenever called by name.

The Day Book is sincerely flattered by this evidence of the influence his past columns is having over in London. As a result the Day Book is seriously considering adding Jim the Chimp to the all-star collection of anti-Semites peopling its brain-child, the Empire of Zoo. At the next cabinet meeting to be called by Fuehrer Oscar Ostrich, the Day Book will have a representative nominate Jim the Chimp for an important cabinet post. H. W.

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