Three months after the whole “Tim Tebow can’t play but he triumphs in the 4th quarter because he really believes in Jesus,” and two months after Tebowing became the new planking, the Tebow bandwagon has been officially destroyed. Why? It’s quite simple: Tebow just stopped winning (though for the record I don’t even think Jesus could beat Tom Brady and New England).
Throughout all the Jesus and Tebow SNL skits, cartoons, David Bowie jokes and endless ESPN references, did anyone ever stop and ask, “How come there’s no Jewish version of Tebow?” Nobody? No?
Wait a minute! Now there is one, and it came out exactly two days before Tebow and the Denver Broncos got creamed by the Patriots! (Full disclosure: I have been a Broncos fan since the John Elway days, but that game was pretty embarrassing).
So the last person to jump on the Tebow bandwagon was Eric Schwartz, aka Smooth-E, a comedian known for the popular YouTube video I’m Gassy and I’m Bloated, a cover version of LMFAO’s I’m Sexy and I Know it.
So the Jewish Tebow is a quarterback named Chaim Heebow, who throws challahs instead of footballs and uses the menorah formation (that’s actually pretty funny, and could be useful for some plays). And don’t forget the defense, with Goldman and Sachs at the D-Line, “because they always get the quarterback.”
After watching the video and having the Heebow theme song stuck in my head all morning (props to Schwartz for that), I have to ask: Since the video was released two days before Tebow lost, was that God’s (or Jesus’) way of punishing us for beating the dead joke?
As a Broncos fan, I hope not. As a human, I sure hope so.
Help ensure Jewish news remains accessible to all. Your donation to the Jewish Telegraphic Agency powers the trusted journalism that has connected Jewish communities worldwide for more than 100 years. With your help, JTA can continue to deliver vital news and insights. Donate today.
