British Fascists Who Will Not Play Ping-pong with Jews

According to a report from Leeds, the city in Yorkshire which contains one of the largest Jewish communities in the country, the local Fascists who run a club known as “The Yorkshire Fascist Table Tennis Club,” have decreed that the game is not to be played with Jews. In this connection, the London “Jewish Chronicle” publishes the following amusing comment:

The worst has befallen! The Fascists have nerved themselves for one great resounding, crushing effort against the despised Jews. To show that now, at long last, they really and truly mean business, they have solemnly resolved that—they shan’t play ping-pong with us! The thunderbolt fell in Leeds. The Yorkshire Fascist Table Tennis Club forged it. One of its most cherished principles was that never would it wield a racket in company with a Jew. It could never rise to the full majesty of the game, or do justice to its own mighty prowess in such harassing circumstances. So when it discovered that the Leeds Table Tennis League, of which it was a member, had so outraged its most sacred feelings as to arrange a fixture for it with the local Judeans,” it downed “rackets” and resigned! Here, then, is the anti-Semitic cult revealed in all the nakedness of its miserable, puny, witless and humorless self. “If ‘Judea’ won’t ‘perish’ then, at any rate, it shan’t ping-pong with us”! Hitlerism has stuck one grand blow against the dominance of the accursed Jew. Ping-pong shall be Juden-rein, and the world be saved. Sir Oswald Mosley must feel a proud man this day, and Hitler has some consolation for his nasty set-back in Germany. He may not be Chancellor, but at least he can boast that no Leeds Fascist crosses rackets with a Jew! For our part, we do not take the childish tomfoolery of these Fascists seriously. Having exposed the footling antics of their movement so effectively, we even think they have deserved well of us. Besides, if they have de-Judaised table tennis, we Jews have, at any rate, the compensation of a real tennis champion in our German co-religionist, Prenn. So we can dismiss these gallant sportsmen and red revolutionaries with the good humored admonition: “Well done, ye good and faithful Jew-baiters. Now run away and play ping-pong, all by yourselves! . . . And, by the way, whatever you do, be very careful not to enter for the premier Table Tennis trophy—the Swaythling Cup! For not only was this trophy presented by a Jew, but it has actually been won by a 100 per cent Jewish Hungarian team, including even the officials!” Oh dear, dear, what is a poor, simple-minded Fascist to do!