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Liturgy for Loss of Gay Lover Included in New Prayer Book

April 2, 1996
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Many things distinguish the new daily prayer book published by the Reconstructionist movement from prayer books put out by the other movements.

But perhaps the most unusual new element of Kol HaNeshama-Daily Prayerbook are the two special readings — one short piece of prose and one poem — dedicated to the loss of a gay or lesbian lover.

Although gay and lesbian synagogues have long included similar readings in their own liturgy, this is the first time that a denominationally published prayer book includes such a feature, said Rabbi David Teutsch, who headed the editorial committee that produced it.

Designed to be used in houses of mourning, as well as on a daily basis, the prayer book has an entire section devoted to death, mourning and memory. The section includes readings for the loss of a parent and a grandparent, as well as for a gay or lesbian lover.

Inclusion of the readings was a response to “the demographic reality of having many permanent, Jewishly active gay and lesbian couples in the community,” said Teutsch, president of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in Wyncote, Pa.

“And morally, we want to encourage gay and lesbian people to be in those kinds of family units,” he said.

The new prayer book, which is the fourth of five in the Kol HaNeshama series put out by the Reconstructionist Press since 1989, was four years in the making and contains prose and poetry for a variety of occasions by a wide range of authors, some well-known and some not.

The editorial committee sifted through tens of thousands of writings to find the ones it wanted to use, Teutsch said.

Authors range from classical Jewish theologians and poets, including Maimonides and Solomon Ibn Gabirol, to Yiddish poets such as Mani Leyb, to contemporary American poets such as Marge Piercy, Adrienne Rich and Charles Reznikoff.

In addition to the morning, afternoon and evening services, there are prayers for bedtime, Havdalah and minor festivals from Purim to Chanukah, as well as readings about nature and social action.

More than most prayer books, this one has readings for nearly as many American holidays as Jewish celebrations.

To mark Labor Day, for example, there are readings in English by Zionist philosopher and pioneer A.D. Gordon, American poet Carl Sandburg, and a poem, in Yiddish and English, by Naftali Gross.

“As Reconstructionists, we are interested in asking how we can bring the American and the Jewish together in a way that we can learn about both,” Teutsch said. “We want to bring together different worlds.”

As in all other Reconstructionist liturgy, this prayer book avoids the traditional prayer language of God’s election of the Jewish people from among the nations to a special role, and has done away with any mention of a personal Messiah.

The God language is gender neutral, using terms such as “The One,” “The Omnipresent” and “The Mighty One” instead of “Lord” and “King.”

The matriarchs are included everywhere that the patriarchs are traditionally cited.

A guided meditation is supplied as an alternative to the Amidah prayer, and a wordillustration known as a Shviti, drawn by Betsy Platkin Teutsch, is also included as a tool for people meditating on God’s presence.

The last book in the Kol HaNeshama series, a High Holiday prayer book, will be published in about two years, Teutsch said.

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