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JTA
EST 1917

It’s zero hour — do you know where your children are?

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 The Onion News Network uncovers shocking evidence of Natanzes in the neighborhood, Bushehrs in the basement: Teenagers getting hooked on enriching uranium.

Report Finds Troubling Rise In Teen Uranium Enrichment

Wanna blame someone? Start with "nuke rap." From the expose, here’s Lil Fission:

Toping all night like a m*********** misfit

Now every third world Arab nation wanna get with it.

(Yes, this is satire.) 

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