Gwyneth Paltrow is your new tour guide


Courtesy of Richard Yaussi/Flickr

What’s going on with all the Hollywood ennui these days? Back in the olden times, actors were happy to be paid for looking pretty whilst crying on demand. Now it’s just not enough. Hollywood stars are pouncing on all the bourgeois activity they can get their grubby manicured hands on: going to graduate school, writing short stories, and even owning businesses!

No A-lister is guiltier of these middle-class-wannabe crimes than Gwyneth Paltrow. Not only did she come out with a cookbook and a country album (for God’s sake!) but now she wants to be your technological tour guide too. Following the success of her obscure newsletter called “Goop,” Paltrow has gone digital and is selling it as an app. “Goop” is a NYC information program where people can learn all of Gwyn’s Big Apple likes and dislikes, from where to shop and eat, to the best Broadway show running. There’s even a video portion of the app called “A Day In New York,” where the lady herself takes you on a magical tour of the gridded city streets.

Mer. This is why we are in a recession, people. All the richies are getting greedy, and trying to branch out, become more useful and versatile. Ugh, go back to faking laughter and wearing wholesale designer clothes, you genetically blessed elite!

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