Dating While Ultra-Orthodox? Better Update Your Shidduch Resume.


First step towards a dream job: a top-notch resume. But what if you also needed a CV to get your dream girl/boy? And we don’t mean updating your JSwipe profile with new emojis. We’re talking about “shidduch resumes,” a standard tool in ultra-Orthodox dating. In these circles, there’s no notion of “casual” dating: singles date to marry, not to mingle. Couples are set up by matchmakers – professional or personal – who will often use these resumes to determine compatibility.

What’s on a resume? Start with the basics: name, age, education, a summary describing the single and their ideal spouse. Required, of course, is a list of character references. Add-ons include: shul affiliation and headcovering type. Resumes pass from hand to hand, but of course nowadays there’s an app for that. Namely, the rabbinically-endorsed Yismach, which makes uploaded resumes viewable to over 130 professional shadchanim.

And what if the shidduch resume is appealing enough that the couple wants to actually meet? Enter the laws of yichud, which govern the time a non-married woman and man spend together. Accordingly the two always meet in a public space. (The handy ShidduchMap can suggest some hotel lobbies.) After that? Well, a resume can only get you so far.

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