It’s New Years Eve, and after all those rounds of champagne, the last place you’ll want to be tonight is behind the steering wheel, right? Of course, there are apps like Uber, which have revived urban nightlife in some locales and saved many a late-night reveler from a run-in with cops. (I’m still waiting for Uber to call their drivers Übermenschs, but I doubt that’ll catch on).
But how about a different kind of smartphone-enabled ride service? One that meets the specific needs of the modern Jewish commuter? I’m speaking of course about Schlep, the fake new company that’ll get you there with some added guilt and nagging. This hilarious video from Elite Daily features a kvetching yiddishe mama who picks her passengers up in a decidedly-unhip minivan, makes them get her dry cleaning, comments on one busty rider’s “pair of knockers,” and then tries to play matchmaker. Oy vey, indeed. She’ll pick you up 15 minutes late, but at least she’ll offer you a snack. Don’t worry, you’re guaranteed to get there by 2016.